The Science Behind Love: Why Marriage Counseling in Queens Can Help You Reconnect

The Science of Love and Connection

Chances are, if you’re in a relationship, you want it to succeed. But relationships are murky with so many emotions, patterns, and expectations all intertwined. Figuring yourself out is hard enough; adding another person to the mix can feel overwhelming.

As a marriage therapist in New York, I’ve seen how understanding the science of relationships can make love feel less mysterious and more manageable. Researchers like Dr. Sue Johnson and Drs. John and Julie Gottman have shown that love follows predictable emotional patterns. We all have core needs which include feeling safe, seen, and emotionally connected.

When those needs are met, relationships flourish. When they’re not, couples can fall into reactive cycles of criticism, withdrawal, shame, or blame. Even couples who understand what’s happening can struggle to change these patterns in the moment when there are heightened tensions.

That’s where marriage counseling in Queens can make a difference. Therapy offers a structured, compassionate space to slow down and practice new ways of connecting. Many of my clients already know what they want to do differently, but in the heat of the moment, it feels impossible to access those intentions.

So how do we bridge the gap between knowing and doing? One powerful answer lies in the concept of deliberate practice.

From Awareness to Change: The Role of Practice in Relationships

Deliberate practice, a method widely used in sports and music, helps people strengthen specific skills through intentional, focused repetition. It’s based on the idea that progress doesn’t come from experience alone, but from structured, mindful effort.

When I first learned about deliberate practice, I was struck by how clearly it applied to relationships. If athletes and musicians can use it to build precision, why can’t couples use it to strengthen emotional connection?

In couples counseling in Queens, I often help partners use deliberate practice principles to build relational skills like staying present during conflict, softening defensiveness, or listening with genuine curiosity. What I’ve found, both personally and professionally, is that when we focus on one small goal, somehow everything seems better. As Robert Browning said, “less is more”.

Building a relationship, like most things in life, is made up of learnable, practice-able skills.

If you’re ready to bring more understanding and connection into your relationship, marriage counseling in Queens can help. As a therapist in Queens, I work with couples to build emotional safety, strengthen communication, and create lasting change.

Contact me to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward a more connected relationship.