Unsure about Divorce?
Crisis couples counseling in New York
Discernment Counseling in Queens, NY
Are you or your spouse considering divorce?
Oftentimes in thinking about such a change, one partner is more interested in divorcing, and the other wants to work through the challenges. Discernment counseling is a chance to slow down in a very stressful period, and take a look at your options for your marriage.
What is discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling helps you gain clarity on whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a pause to make a decision later. The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. This is not the time to solve your marital problems, but to slow down and see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. THERE ARE NO bad guys and good guys! You will come in to discernment sessions as a couple, but the bulk of the work will be in one-to-one conversations, where I will meet with each of you individually. Discernment counseling emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
If you are thinking about divorce:
Discernment counseling can help you gain more clarity on what has happened in your relationship until now, and allow you to more fully explore the different options.
If you are trying to save the marriage:
Discernment counseling can help you identify the changes you can make to have the best chance and saving and improving your marriage.
See this video for more information on discernment counseling:
Contact me for a free discernment counseling consultation
Contact me at (917) 590-0258 for your free 15-minute phone consultation for counseling in New York.
Frequently Asked Questions About Discernment Counseling In New York
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Discernment counseling is tailored towards a very specific category of couples, where one partner is interested in working on the relationship, and one partner isn't sure if they want to stay married.
If both partners are fully committed to doing the work, traditional marriage therapy is the way to go.
On the flip side, if one partner is 100% convinced that they want a divorce, discernment counseling is not the right choice. (However, even slight uncertainty can make you a good candidate for this work!)
Discernment counseling is not meant for situations where there is active violence or coercion. -
Discernment counseling is a very short term therapy lasting 1-5 sessions. The first session is 2 hours, and subsequent sessions are 90 minutes.
During each session, some of the time is spent with both of you together, and some is individual work.
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Couples who engage in this work, regardless of the outcome, have shared how worthwhile they found the process to be.
Partners who decide to work on their relationship at the end of the process find that work to be much more effective after going through discernment counseling.
Those who decide to divorce report that discernment counseling gave them much more closure than they would have had otherwise, as well as giving greater clarity on the things they each contributed to the dynamics in this relationship (which helps prevent those patterns from repeating themselves in future relationships).